Chapter 59.

“What are you thinking about?”

Shin asked Woojin. Every time they made love, Woojin always fell asleep immediately after. This meant that they never got to talk after sex. But today was strange. After having dinner with Shin’s friend, they had a cocktail. And as they had been doing for the past few days, Woojin went to Shin’s place.

And they made love for the first time since Woojin returned.

As usual, sex with Shin was amazing. It felt like his soul was being freed. It felt too good.

Scary good.

With his eyes still open, Woojin tried to calm his breath down. Shin held Woojin’s arms to kiss his wrists. When Woojin turned towards him, Shin kissed his cheek soundly.

Woojin replied, “I was thinking that I liked it.”

“Hmm… You are a bit of a slut, aren’t you?”

“I thought you knew.”

“Yeah, and I like it.”

Shin smiled, making him look naughty. When Woojin traced his shoulder with his finger, Shin trembled a little. It ticked.

Woojin murmured, “I don’t feel sleepy.”

“Maybe your stamina is getting better.”

“You think?”

Looking down at him, Shin’s bangs fell onto his forehead, making him look much younger. Woojin whispered, “Right now, you look like a high school student.”

“This isn’t fair.”

“What isn’t?”

“I can’t seem to remember you from high school. I don’t remember what you were like.”

“It’s ok. I remember for the both of us.”

Shin had a habit of closing his right eye when he felt embarrassed or impressed. When he did it this time, Woojin kissed his right eye. Afterward, Shin opened it wide.

Woojin caressed Shin’s eyebrows, and when he did, Shin’s eyes half-closed, as if he was sleepy.

Woojin whispered, “You can sleep if you are tired.”

“Do you want to shower together?”

Woojin could feel the lust on Shin’s face. Woojin’s neck blushed and the rest of his body reacted. Shin grinned, knowing what Woojin was feeling. He reached out to hold Woojin’s shoulders, which still had marks of their lovemaking. Woojin’s body wasn’t given any time to cool down as Shin caressed his body passionately.

Woojin stammered, “I-I thought you wanted to s-shower…”

“Maybe later.”

This never-ending desire. The need to touch and be touched…

Their bodies burned. As Woojin’s head bent backward in ecstasy, Shin kissed his neck and breathed in deeply.

That night, Woojin dreamed that his body split into a million pieces and dispersed to different places. Woojin remembered that before he fell asleep, Shin was washing his body with a warm cloth.

Or was that a dream? Woojin couldn’t be sure. But he thought he remembered…. He remembered their bodies touching and eventually becoming one.

Was it just a dream? A sad dream?

***

Shin had a meeting in the morning near where Siwoo worked, so they made plans to have lunch together. He arrived at Siwoo’s office building earlier than usual. Shin texted him.

-I am in front of your building.

The winter sun shined brightly, and the sky was so blue. But it was freezing outside. A sharp wind blew and Shin tightened his coat when suddenly, he noticed a group of people staring at him nearby. When he looked back curiously, a familiar voice exclaimed, “Stop staring at him!”

A large figure walked out from the group and toward Shin. The man grinned naughtily and yelled, “It’s my friend, and he is already taken! So don’t even think about it!”

“Oh, he’s your friend? That’s awesome!”

It was Siwoo, and the rest must’ve been his coworkers. Shin bowed quietly and turned away, ready to leave. Siwoo laughed and said to his colleagues, “This guy is very shy.”

Shin mumbled, “Stop it.”

Ignoring Shin, Siwoo waved at the group and followed Shin. It had been a long time since they ate lunch together. Out of the blue, Siwoo suddenly announced that he wanted to eat kimchi stew.

Shin asked curiously, “Doesn’t Joowan cook for you anymore? Why are you so obsessed with home cooked meals nowadays?”

“I broke up with Joowan. Didn’t I tell you?”

Siwoo said it nonchalantly, but Shin froze on the spot.

“When? When did this happen?”

“What does it matter?”

“It must’ve happened recently, right?”

“Probably about a week ago? I can’t remember.”

“Are you ok?”

“Why wouldn’t I be ok?”

Siwoo said it casually, but his face became so pale that Shin pulled him close into a tight hug. Siwoo murmured, “People are going to talk. You know my office is just over there, right?”

“Why did you guys break up?”

“Why?”

“Joowan… You guys were serious, right? It mustn’t have been an easy decision.”

“Yeah. Why did I break up with him?”

Siwoo pretended to contemplate, but his eyes began to water. When Shin sighed, Siwoo wiped his eyes quickly. Shin asked in annoyance, “Whenever I am going through a tough time, I come to you. Why can’t you do that with me?”

“I’m sorry.”

Siwoo sighed as well, and they began to walk again. Siwoo mumbled, “Joowan lied to me.”

“Did… did he cheat on you?”

“No.”

“Then what?”

“I don’t think I can tell you that.”

“Why not?”

“Shin.”

“Yes?”

“How much do you like Mr. Woojin Choi?”

Siwoo looked away as he asked the question.

“Why are you asking me that?”

“If you found out something… Do you think you will still feel the same way about him?”

Siwoo turned towards him. His eyes were cold. One thing they shared was their fear of becoming close to someone too quickly. Both Siwoo and Shin usually kept themselves distant from most people.

Siwoo’s eyes looked cold and suspicious.

Shin replied, “I didn’t know him when I first met him.”

“…”

“So it doesn’t matter. All I know for certain is that there are more things I don’t know about him than what I know about him.”

Siwoo’s eyes turned hot as he mumbled, “I wish I knew that too before… That would’ve been better. Easier…”

“… Are you hungry yet?”

Shin pulled Siwoo closer and decided it was best not to ask him anymore questions. They breathed together for a little while before Siwoo smiled and asked, “Did I ever tell you that I used to have a crush on you when we were little?”

“Liar.”

“Haha, you got me.”

“Whenever you want a drinking body, call me, you idiot.”

When Shin mussed Siwoo’s curly hair, Siwoo smiled.

His friend Siwoo… He always looked so strong and cold, yet inside, he was a fragile and sensitive being.

Shin sighed. He knew that Siwoo Jung secretly feared not being loved by those around him. Siwoo looked up at him and suddenly, he spit out a name.

“Jihoon Kang.”

“What about him?”

“Introduce me to him.”

At that moment, Shin couldn’t detect any emotion in Siwoo’s eyes. He shivered nervously.