Chapter 159: CHAPTER 80 (1) – Why Did I Come Back Here, Again?

Even after she had sent off Petronilla, Patrizia continued to sit on the bench as she thought about something. No one would be able to determine how this would affect the coming battles, as an unexpected reinforcement had emerged. Patrizia was now wondering what was left for her to take care of, when a low voice came from above her.

“The flowers were pretty.”

“Ah?” Patrizia looked up in surprise. It was that person. She thought without saying a word.

What a relief. That nothing had happened…

“What did your words mean earlier?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do not be surprised, pretend it is nothing…”

“…”

“That is what you had said, most likely.”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” Patrizia smiled awkwardly and lied to him. “You were not surprised. The flowers were so pretty, I thought you would be surprised.”

Lucio pushed his face up close to Patrizia at the end of her words. He whispered to her in a low voice. “Lies.”

“…”

“You cannot lie that well.”

“… What are you talking about?”

“Is it something you cannot talk about?” he asked her directly, without beating around the bush.

She closed her eyes and replied to him, as she let out a sigh, “That is the case, Your Majesty.”

“It feels strange.”

“… Yes?”

“I am still not someone that is worthy of your trust. I understand.”

“…”

“I am sorry if I crossed the line.”

“… No, you did not,” Patrizia replied in a neatly arranged voice,.

While Lucio seemed to have something more to say to her, he didn’t address it further and said something else instead. “You do not look so good, it would be best for you to go and get some rest.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“…”

He said nothing further, and left. There seemed to be more that he wanted to say…, Patrizia quietly muttered to herself, and shook her head. Do not take any interest.

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Patrizia returned immediately to the Empress Palace, as Lucio said she should. She did not ask the people around her about the incident. To reveal Rosemond’s wickedness, she would have to open up all the stories of Lucio and Alyssa, as well. She did not want this to become widely known. Beyond anything else, this was someone else’s secret. It was immoral to let others know about a person’s shameful past when that person did not grant permission to do so. Patrizia thought in this manner, and hoped that the people around her would think in this way too.

By now, she has probably used up all of the perfume.

It was a fragrant perfume. Even Rosemond would find it difficult to refuse such a scent. Patrizia smiled, and closed her eyes. The pharmacist had told her that the effect would appear immediately…

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“… Majesty, Your Majesty.”

How much time had passed? Patrizia opened her eyes when someone called out to her. Mirya could be seen faintly in the darkness. Patrizia had twisted and turned in a fitful sleep, and replied, slightly annoyed, ” Did I not tell you to not wake me up, before I went to sleep?”

“I apologize, Your Majesty.” As she said that, Mirya showed quite an urgent facial expression.

Patrizia caught on to the situation, and rose from the bed. Patrizia withstood the state of her aching body, and asked Mirya, “What in the word is the matter”

“The chief maid from the Central Palace was in a hurry, looking for Your Majesty…”

“… From the Central Palace?”Patrizia was instantly gripped by an ominous foreboding.

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Patrizia donned only a slip dress, covered by a thick shawl, and hurriedly walked out. As she did, she asked in an urgent voice. “How long has it been since the episode began?”

“When ten minutes had passed, I went to escort over Your Majesty.”

“… Rose, no, the Marchioness?”

It was a name she truly did not want to utter, but the chief maid shook her head.

“She said to not wake her up from her sleep. Saying that she was fatigued…”

“…”

Patrizia walked on without saying another word, and eventually began to run. Since Patrizia had once witnessed his act of harming himself, bad thoughts continued to take place. “No, do not do that,” Patrizia murmured to herself constantly. She did so without being aware of who the words were dedicated to.

“Your Majesty, will you be alright?”

It was only when she finally reached his quarters that she was asked that, and Patrizia let out a laugh.

“It is you that called me over here.”

“… That is why I am asking.” the chief maid replied anxiously. “I did not have any alternative options, so I asked Your Majesty for help, but Your Majesty… If it is too difficult, I will not force you to do so.”

“…”

“Ten years… around that long? It lasts a long time. I do not think this will stop…”

“Are you,” Patrizia replied, softly angry, “Are you either lacking in loyalty to the one you are serving, or are you simply concerned about me, as I am his actual wife?”

“… Your Majesty.”

“It is good if it is the latter. However, that is not the sort of mindset that you should be having, at the very least. If you are really thinking of His Majesty, then you do not have to worry about my well-being. I am not a person with such a narrow mind that I would not understand even that.”

“… I apologize.”

Patrizia wanted to tell her that it was not an apology that should be directed towards her, but instead brought up something else.

“How many years have you served His Majesty?”

“… It was been right after His Majesty became the Crown Prince.”

“It has been a long time,” Patrizia muttered bitterly. “You must feel pity for him. And you must be fed up with this job.”

Certainly, anyone could see that this person was not mentally healthy. Patrizia pointed this out, and proceeded to open the door without any hesitation.

“EUAAAGH!”

“…”

As she saw him screaming in a fit, as he tried to harm himself with his own hands, Patrizia was thinking at that moment. Ah, how disgusted and exhausted this man must feel about all this. Patrizia took a step forward.

“Your Majesty.”

How tiresome is all this. Leaving the people who only had to witness this out of the discussion, for the person actually having to go through such an ordeal, how cursed he must feel as he self-loathes himself. Even I would…

“Your Majesty.”

Even I would… I hate it. It would feel terrible. I would want to escape. But how could it be possible to escape when being bogged down for so long. Eventually, all that remains…

“Please stop it.”

Miserable regret and feelings of shame. Patrizia moved while trembling, one step at a time. Suddenly she was only a stone’s throw away from where Lucio was. She bit her lips.

“Please stop it.”

“EUAAAGH! HEUAAH…”

He stared at Patrizia with his bloodshot eyes. A tear flowed down without her knowledge. Why are you…

“Why do you keep me testing me like this?”

“… Haaa.”

He appeared to look calm. Nevertheless, tears continued to race down her face. “Why do you make me… find it impossible to ignore Your Majesty.”

“… HEUGH.”

“If you continue to be like this… I will be swayed. You make me want to hug you. You make me want to comfort you.”

“…”

“So do not be like this in front of me. Do not shake me up. I do not have the confidence.”

I do not have the confidence to handle you, I do not have confidence to love you. Even moreso, I do not have the confidence to embrace you, Patrizia muttered to herself as she hugged him. His body, trembling like an aspen tree, began to calm down. Feeling that change with all her heart, Patrizia spoke in a voice full of bitterness.

“You, what are you expecting me to do?”

“Haaa…”

“I want to ignore you, but you keep stepping into my eyes. I do not want to concern myself about it, but if you continue to be like this…”

“… Ugh.”

“I cannot do so then…” Patrizia, who sat there holding him, began to sob. “I still continue to despise you, hate you…”

“…”

“Why did I come back here again?” Patrizia swallowed her tears and kissed his head. “Why do you continue to expect… the impossible from me.”

Now, I do not know anymore. Patrizia buried her face in his embrace.