Chapter 195: CHAPTER 98 (1) – To Endure Living Without You
“How far will you go to make me unhappy?”
“I will not say such shameless words as asking you to love me. But at the very least… give me a chance.”
“You are asking for a chance, when we have come this far?”
“No, you do not need to give me a chance for all of eternity,” Lucio begged earnestly. “Please, Empress. I have no confidence to endure living in the Imperial Palace without you.”
“You also said those words to the dead Rosemond,” Patrizia refuted him in a sad voice. “I cannot be like her. I cannot confess my heart to Your Majesty with what would be a blatant lie, like she did.”
“…”
“I am only telling you the truth with all of my sincerity; that I do not love Your Majesty.”
“Patrizia, please…”
“… I will be taking my leave now.” Patrizia left behind those words and turned her back on Lucio. There was no more will left in her to hold on. When Rosemond died, Patrizia’s heart seemed to have died along with her. She left his room with a dry expression on her face. Lucio, who was left alone, grasped his face with a distressed expression. His previously dry fingertips were soon wet with tears.
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“Are you really going to leave the Imperial Palace?” Petronilla asked her sister quietly.
Patrizia nodded stoically. “The first time I entered this palace, the sole plan was to live quietly after taking your place, my sister. I would rather become a dethroned Empress and live more freely than I do now if I receive a promise from His Majesty that will protect me and my family.”
“…” Petronilla could not respond to her sister’s words. It was insensitive for her to rebuke her sister’s decision. In a way, her younger sister had sacrificed everything for her; Patrizia had offered herself to the Imperial Palace on behalf of her foolish older sister!
Petronilla sighed to herself. It was clear that the Emperor was fond of Patrizia, and even in love with her. Petronilla knew that his feelings were genuine, because Emperor Lucio had the same gaze for Patrizia as Rothesay did when he looked at her. However, Patrizia seemed to have closed off her heart to everyone, just as Petronilla had done before.
Petronilla’s honest wish was for her sister to forget all about the past and spend the next hundred years with the Emperor… but Patrizia did not seem to want that. Well, even in their previous lives, she had seemed to have no special intention to marry anyone.
“Does Nilla oppose this?”
“Just because I object, does not mean you will continue to stay here.”
“In spite of that, I want to ask your opinion.”
“As a personal wish, I hope you can forget all about everything that has happened here and just live on happily.”
“How can you say it like that?” Patrizia’s voice became a little heated. “Did you forget? I am the Empress right now, but in our previous lives, Nilla, you were Empress. Strictly speaking, that person is not my husband, but my brother-in-law.”
“Patrizia, as you said, that is something that had happened to the two of us in our previous lives.”
“That does not change the fact that my head was cut off, my older sister’s head was cut off, and my parents’ necks were all cut off!”
“Of course that was the case. But Lizzy, do you plan to remain stuck in the past? The Emperor who ordered our family’s deaths back then and the Emperor now are different people. They have completely different personalities.”
“Even so…!” Patrizia’s once calm voice began to grow louder. “It does not change the fact that he was once your husband!”
“Oh my goodness. Lizzy, are you acting this way because of that?” Petronilla asked sincerely; Patrizia did not respond to her question. Petronilla stared at her in silence, and then confessed in a low voice. “Technically speaking, as you have said, I was married to His Majesty the Emperor. But Lizzy, the kind of relationship you are thinking about did not exist between us.”
“What…?” Patrizia asked, wondering what that meant.
Petronilla calmly revealed the answer to Patrizia’s question. “What I mean is, His Majesty and I never shared the same bed. To put it simply, I was his ‘official’ Empress in name only.”
“…”
“Now do you understand? And if it is because of me, do not be concerned. I already have a man I love, and my feelings for His Majesty are just one of the drifting memories from my foolish past. I do not feel anything for His Majesty now.”
“It… It is not just because of that.” Patrizia sighed and continued. “I am just so exhausted now. I do not want to think about anything.”
“Then rest. The Inner Palace work can be taken over by myself and Mirya. If you want, you can even go to some kind of rehabilitation facility.”
“Nil.”
“I am so sorry, Lizzy, but what you are talking about is not a matter that can be resolved by behaving like a child. Since you have already become the Empress, what logic will you use to become the dethroned Empress? Are you going to commit a crime in order to leave the Imperial Palace?”
“I just…”
“There are many ways that you can be free. I will be of help to you, Mirya and Rafaella will also come to your aid. We have overcome and gone through all the hard obstacles now.”
“…”
“I am not saying you should just endure and hold on. Just that… I mean, you can become free enough, even in that position.”
“…” Patrizia said nothing. Petronilla’s words made sense. Dethroning an Empress was not something that could be done easily. As Petronilla had said, in order to become a dethroned Empress, she had to commit a crime that befitted the punishment. Whether it would be this way or that way, it would not be easy.
Patrizia let out a sigh. “Alright. I was being too frivolous.”
“It would be better to take a break for now and get some rest. It is because you have been working too hard these days.”
“…” Patrizia sighed briefly. Indeed, that really might have been the cause of it…
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Translated by Haeli
Edited by RED