Chapter5 I Didn’t Lock the Door in the Men’s Room

I waved my hand and said weakly, “Whatever… just sit down to eat, drink and sing some songs. Take your time.”

Then the girls sat down. They really were experts, who were good at singing and playing musical instruments. I enjoyed the beauties while I was eating the delicious food, temporarily putting aside the tragedy that I was about to go through after a while.

The delicious food made me quickly forget the pain caused by half of the greasy chicken in the daytime. After being satiated, I reached out my hand to touch one of the beautiful sisters—my hands were so greasy that I needed to wipe my hands…

The girl looked at me with a look of disgust, but she still refrained and smiled with a good temper. Noticing that I crooked my fingers to beckon her, she moved close to my ear.

Then I asked, “Where is the bathroom?”

There were four great pleasures in life, namely, wine, women, wealth and pride, or eating, drinking, peeing and pooping. I had eaten and drunk well, and inevitably I wanted to go to the bathroom. Following behind me were two beautiful girls who seemed to be good at martial arts. They were more like preventing me from escaping then showing me the way. Well, the food that I randomly ordered would cost at least a hundred Laing (a Laing equals to 50 grams) of silver. I would say that it was not much, which was half of the price of a vase smashed by the Third Childe and the Fourth Childe in a quarrel. While it could also support an ordinary family to be well-fed and well-clothed for two or even three years.

Men’s and women’s bathroom were separated in the Triplet Pleasure-boat, which were not called bathroom. One was called Windy Creek while the other called Spring Water. I adjusted my coiffure and thought seriously for a minute about which one I should go. Considering my dress-up, others would naturally believe that I was a man since they had few experiences compared with the procuress. If I went to the ladies’ room, a stir would be caused before I undressed myself. But I was indeed a woman, entering the man’s room…

I turned and stepped into the man’s room…

Well, well, well. I looked around with staring eyes, or more accurately in the words of the Third Childe, sharp and ugly eyes of a thief. It was indeed the pick-up joint, where the urine opening and the feces opening were separated. The chamber pot here was also gold-plated. There were bamboo doors in each of the three small compartments, with square skylights on the top reflecting the brilliant light of bright moon and fireworks. Cheers and the sound of music were heard from outside from time to time. I thought of the position of the Triplet Pleasure-boat, and immediately, I realized that a few beauties were competing with each other in the river outside the bathroom!

Ahh okay!

I leaned out to look at the compartment, and found that right behind it was the Luoshui River. That was to say…

I looked a little pale. Knowing this kind of thing was one thing, but seeing with my own eyes was another. I dared not even think about it, otherwise I would feel uncomfortable while eating and drinking.

I looked at the chamber pot awkwardly, wondering how to use it. Although the emperor of the Chen Kingdom advocated equality between men and women, only this matter was different. Why could a man pee standing up while women must squat down? (Emperor: None of my business. You could also pee standing up!)

I lifted up the hem with legs opening, and postured a martial-art squat in a moderate level—the position was very difficult because you couldn’t be too low or too high considering the height of the chamber pot…

It was probably the turn of a girl to demonstrate her talents outside. After the dinging and donging accompanied by the sound of string music, I slightly raised my head and looked over the top of bamboo door, feeling relieved.

At this moment, the outside door was flung open, followed by a clatter of footsteps to my direction. The man then wrenched open the bamboo door just before I finished.

I screamed and my face was hit by the oncoming bamboo door. Then I fell backwards, and my hands hurriedly grasped forward. I heard a sound of “Em?” and “ah—”. I fell back in the corner with butt backwards to the ground, and unfortunately I became this guy’s cushion!

The sound of music came to an abrupt end.

We saw only the autumn moon, silver in midstream.

Silence was more powerful than words.

At this point, it was necessary for me to introduce the current situation.

The doors were all open inwards, half the height of a person. Generally speaking, men would pee standing back to the door, so people would noticed if it was occupied even if the door was not locked.

While at that time, I was peeing in a painful-looking position facing the door. My crouched body was precisely lower than the bamboo door, which caused the illusion that there was no one here. The man must want to pee urgently, thinking that the sound was from outside. So he jerked the door open—how tragic it was!

In the applauses and cheers outside, I, with eyes full of tears, pushed and pinched the person above to remind him that it was time to stand up.

Oh, my God!

The biggest mistake of my life was that I didn’t lock the door in the man’s room!

“You…” The man stood up awkwardly. I pulled a jade pendant by his waist and put it into my chest.

I stood up, tidied my dress, and adjusted my coiffure. I was glad that he should have seen nothing just now. I flashed out of the compartment, and looked at him up and down. Unlike the fascinating and charming pimps here, he was rather good-looking. He was tall and handsome with a trace of arrogance in between the eyebrows, but he looked a bit frivolous. With a temperament quite similar to that of Tao the Second Childe—he must be a guest.

Before I kind of liked him, while now I disgusted him, completely forgetting that I was also a guest…