Chapter 45: What You Need is a Deck of Poker Cards

Following a change of tone, Chen Xu said, “And so, I told Zixin: don’t ask me to do any lives again, you better do it yourself. I have a straightforward personality, and I can’t take those viewers.”

“Then, Zixin advised me and said: yo bro, calm down. What do those people know? They’re just toads living under the well who have no knowledge of this world. Besides, they are also especially uncivilized. They bark around and bite like a mad dog without any clue. Why are you arguing with those people? You’re just lowering yourself to their level.”

Dai Zixin, who stood directly opposite him, was a little confused. When had she ever said these things?

Bam.

Chen Xu slammed the table next to him and said, “When I heard her saying that, I was extremely angry. I said: Zixin, how could you say that about your fans? Even if they are toads under the well, even if they are uncivilized, even if their brains are rotten black, they are still supporting you, and you must at least have some respect for them.”

As Dai Zixin listened, her mouth opened wider and wider.

The skies in the chatroom had already flipped.

“Don’t you guys think that something is off about what he’s saying?”

“He sounds like he’s helping us, but why do I feel that he’s actually attacking us?”

“And it is with his nose in the air.”

“My, that’s very rude of him, isn’t it?”

“What the hell, this is the first time I see a streamer indirectly coming at his viewers.”

…

Chen Xu who couldn’t read the replies was still talking, “Back then, I gave her a lesson. But in the end, she wasn’t convinced. She even told me that: those doubting followers have never donated, when have they ever supported me?

“Then I told her: you have to understand, these people aren’t not donating because they are too young, they are simply too poor to donate, and it is not right for you to discriminate against them. You need to have a tolerant heart.”

At that moment, Dai Zixin finally came to her senses. She stared at him while gritting her teeth. If it wasn’t for the fact that the stream was going on right then, she would have gone over and choked him to death.

That bastard, how dare he frame her like that during the stream? He had gone overboard.

Chen Xu wasn’t paying attention to her glare. After finishing, he only felt revitalized.

He had held a grudge in his heart from back when Dai Zixin had told him that people in the chatroom were defaming him. He had long planned to strike back against them during the next live stream.

The problem was that it was hard to prove himself innocent about this kind of thing. He would never be willing to expend the amount of effort needed to do that. But if he were to call out the viewers directly, he could easily get the account reported, and it would be troublesome. Hence, he conducted it in this manner and finally got some of the anger out of his system.

This time, he had become smarter. He didn’t read the replies in the chatroom lest people trigger him any further.

Having in mind that they would soon need to gather at the hot spring, he decided to kick off today’s performance.

“After that, I thought, Zixin’s not having an easy time herself. She has to work overtime until seven or eight every single day and has to stream for you guys at night just to earn some cash for a living. Nowadays, it is rare to see girls who work as hard as her, and I as a friend should help her whenever I can.

“Today, I’ve prepared something new. If you guys think that it’s okay, give us some more donos.”

As he talked, he took out a white radish and said, “What I’ll be performing today is cutting a radish. When I was young, I liked to visit my grandma’s house. She had lots and lots of radishes in her yard, so much that she never ran out. Every time she was cooking, I would always ask her to let me chop the radishes. You know that crisp sound when the knife goes through the radish? It is really, really satisfying.

“Now, I will let you guys listen to it. Zixin, bring the camera forward,” Chen Xu waved at Dai Zixin.

Hearing that he wanted to cut a radish, Dai Zixin gave him a doubtful look. Before this, Chen Xu hadn’t revealed what was he going to perform, and even she was oblivious about it.

However, she had a lot of faith in him, so she brought the camera closer.

A wave of replies once again rippled through the chatroom:

“Holy moly, of my many years roaming across various streaming platforms, I’ve never seen someone perform the cutting of a radish.”

“Are you serious Mr. Streamer? Are the ten thousand people over here just gonna watch you chop up some radish?”

“You seem like you’re teasing us.”

“Well, I think that it can’t be that simple.”

“This streamer is a bad guy. He must be pulling some tricks on us.”

…

Pretending to be serious, Chen Xu asked, “Do you guys know how one should cut a radish to make it delicious?

“You must cut it into even sizes of equal length. It mustn’t have even a millimeter of difference. In that way, you can ensure that every chunk of radish tastes exactly the same.”

As he spoke, he took out a ruler and a pen. He did some measurements with the ruler and drew some lines on the radish.

Dai Zixin wanted to laugh looking at him talking gibberish with a serious face. She had to admit that Chen Xu was like an entirely different person in front of the camera.

He didn’t talk so much usually.

Chen Xu kept the pen and ruler and said, “Alright, we are all set. We may begin cutting it up now.”

He pretended to touch around his body. His expression changed and he said, “Dang it, I forgot my knife. What should I do now?”

“I have one over here.”

Unbeknownst to him, an audience had gathered around him. One of them suddenly spoke and dished out a miniature folding knife for him.

In that moment, Chen Xu’s facial expression froze.

With the showstopper’s sudden appearance, how should he continue his performance?

Dai Zixin, who was filming him, almost died laughing. She knew that she shouldn’t be, but she simply couldn’t help herself. Afraid that she might affect Chen Xu, she was painstakingly holding back her laughter.

“Just take the knife. You’re welcome,” the kind person said enthusiastically.

Chen Xu looked at him expressionlessly as he finally spoke, “Nah, I only use my own knife, but thank you anyway.”

The person was startled as he quietly backed off.

Chen Xu managed his expression and said to the camera, “When, um, when we don’t have a knife, how should we cut this radish?”

He paused for a while, and finally got his words straightened. His speaking became fluent, “At such times, what you need is a deck of poker cards.”

As he went on, he took out a deck of poker cards from his pocket, opened it up, shuffled the cards several times, and said, “Coincidently, I just got myself a deck of poker cards as I passed by the convenient store just now.”

“Most certainly, some of you will ask, how are poker cards that are made of paper supposed to cut through a radish? Let me show you how it is done.”

Chen Xu took a few cards from the deck and put the rest back into his pocket. Then, he backed off a few steps. “Firstly, you have to back off a little, about five meters. Then, use two fingers to hold the card and hurl it out like that.”

With that, following a flick of his wrist, the card between his index and middle finger flung out and jabbed right on the radish a few meters away. The thrust was so strong that it almost severed the radish.

“Can you see it clearly? Let me do it again.”

As he spoke, he flicked another card which spiraled, and then attached to the radish.

“The key is wrist strength. Look.” Immediately, another card sliced into the radish.

“Last card.”

After Chen Xu threw out the last card, he signaled Dai Zixin to give a close-up.

Dai Zixin moved to the radish and was taken aback after seeing it.

She saw four-poker cards, each jabbed accurately into the lines that Chen Xu had drawn.

When the camera moved closer, the chatroom went silent for a few seconds, and then came the horde of crazed chatroom residents.

“What the actual fart? Am I seeing things correctly?”

“My mom asked me why I was kneeling while watching the stream.”

“Honey, quickly come into the presence of a god…”