Chu Feng was awakened by a doorbell. Even if he didn’t want to get up, It was unpleasant to wake him up in his sleep.

He gets up and open the door and sees his sister Chu Rou. She looked pale, no make up, red and swollen eyes, apparently just crying.

“Who bully you?” Chu Feng frowned and pulled her inside. He and Chu Rou get along since child very well. He couldn’t stand it if his sister got hurt. Chu Rou is as gentle and sensible as her name and he cares about him.

Chu Rou look at Chu Feng with red eyes and said hoarsely, “Rong Yun committed suicide.”

Rong Yun… This is an unfamiliar and familiar name for him so he did not respond for a moment. It was as if a distant memory suddenly opened and Rong Yun’s name was filled with faint pain but the strangeness was still there.

After seeing Chu Feng’s reaction, Chu Rou lost it and grabbed his collar. Her eyes were filled with tears instantly, “Chu Feng you bastard! Did you forget about him?! Did you forget about Rong Yun?!”

Her tears falls in his hands, it was not warm but hot. He really forgot about him. He never thought of this name, this person again…

Chu Rou shook him and cried, “Give Rong Yun back! Give him back to me! He promised to live… He promised…”

Being shook by her sister, he didn’t know how to react.

The shaking becomes beating and her tears flowed faster, “In ten years, you lived a happily life. But him? he was tortured by depression for ten years and was like a gopher who did not dare to see the light. Chu feng, you owe him and even your life is not enough…”

Depression, this word is like a knife that stab in his heart. Depression is not a terminal illness, but it can be fatal.

You know, he always like you… He always likes you, but what did you do to him? You’re despicable! Why are you living but Rong Yun is dead?! Why?! Why…” Chu Rou couldn’t talk anymore, she slowly sat down and cried hysterically.

Chu Feng felt the numbness of his body from his fingertips as if his blood had stopped flowing. The mournful atmosphere spread in the entire house. Rong Yun’s crying face was dug out from his memory, its so real, so clear…

Each school will have more or less a bad boy-like figures. When they didn’t care about it, these people became the main force of bullying incident. Sometimes there wasn’t even a reason for it. Just because they didn’t like someone, they would beat them.

Chu Feng was one of the high school bad boy at that time, and he was their boss. It should be that high school is a good time to study, but not all high schools have this kind atmosphere. Especially in boarding high schools, they were in their rebellious age. A group of rich second-generation and official second-generation students mixed together and became a school tyrant. Everyday they bully and provoke… This is the high school life of Chu Feng and his “buddies”.

Rong Yun is a very delicate boy. He grows pure and good looking that is rare in high shool. In addition, his academic performance is also good and he is kind to other people so he is very popular in girls.

During the third year of high school, when the new school year start, somehow, he suddenly heard that Rong Yun is a homosexual. When the humor came out, the girls didn’t believe it bu the boys were disgusted. Therefore, many boys began to avoid Rong Yun and seemed to be afraid of associating with him and be treated as gay. For a long time, Rong Yun was left out.

It was friday and most of the students returned home after school. Chu Feng’s relationship with his father is bad, as a result they quarreled on the phone. He was in a bad mood. After he came back playing basketball, he was ready to go back to the classroom to pick his schoolbag back to the dormitory. He heard a noise and ridicule in the stairwell.

Chu Feng pick his eyebrow, he was familiar with this voice and he grew up with him, it was his friend Gui Heng.

Listening to his tone, he didn’t know which classmate he was messing around with. His mood is not good and the noise makes him even more irritated. He walked up slowly.

“What’s the fuss about?” Chu Feng ask unhappily. he is definitely a bad boy in school, his classmates assessment on him is not good and he only looks handsome. But if you were to add two more things, that is fighting and basketball that he is very good at.

After seeing him, Gui Heng laugh and said, “It’s okay. He look’s not pleasing to the eyes and taught him a lesson.”

Chu Feng took a look at the boy who were being press to the ground by several people. It was none other than Rong Yun. At this time, his face already has a several bruises, the bruises in the corner of his mouth is turning purple while his forehead is turning blue. His shirt was messy and his buttons are gone. He can clearly see his white body and slender clavicle. Even his pants were not spared. His clothes were torn and can’t be worn again.

Rong Yun’s eyes are red but he didn’t cry. He just clutch his shirt without buttons silently.

Gui Heng elbow him lightly, lifted his chin and smiled, “Didn’t you hear the rumor? He is actually gay.”

Several boys on the side also ridiculed, “Feng ge, what do you think? Actually liking men, so disgusting.”

“isn’t he thinking of himself as a girl? Did you wear a dress at home?”

“My girlfriend also said that he looks good. He looks so frail, what’s there to look at? Can he be tall like me?”

• • • • • • • • • • •

Chu Feng was even more annoyed by their noise and the anger in his heart has no where to vent. After seeing Rong Yun’s embarrassing state, he felt more irritated and his face became more ugly.

One of the boys walked up to Chu Feng with a smirk on his face and glance at Rong Yun’s direction, “Feng ge, I heard that it was very exciting to do it with a man.”

Gui Heng was standing next to Chu Feng and heard it. He smiled and pushed the other and said, “Move, what are you talking about?” In fact, at their age, most of them were addicted to this kind of thing.

Because of Chu Feng’s family situation, he often traveled abroad and knows more about this than his friends. He suddenly looked at Rong Yun and thought of something bad.

Chu Feng’s face sank deper, he remember his father’s quarrel with him and his irritation didn’t dissappear. He was looking for a place to vent but he didn’t want to do it with the other’s around him. He said kindly, “Let’s go. Later when you see him just walk around to avoid being infected.”

Several people laugh a few times mockingly and did not stay longer. After saying good bye to Chu Feng, they first left with Gui Heng as if nothing happened.

The stairwell was quiet, leaving only Chu Feng and Rong Yun. Rong Yun slowly sit up, the movement is slow and he seemed to be very hurt. His head was down and didn’t look at Chu Feng.

chu Feng look at his messy clothes and the fire of his body burned him more. Thinking of his dispute with his father, coupled with the recent unpleasant things, he just want to find a place to vent his anger and dissatisfaction so he extended his hands and reach to Rong Yun…

Recalling that period of past events, he seemed to hear Rong Yun’s cry. He did not cry when he was beaten and humiliated by other’s, but he did when he entered him.

until now, Chu Feng did not know why he force Rong Yun, but he was very clear that it was not making love even if Rong Yun was indeed very attractive. When he returned to sanity, he already entered him. But he did not care and didn’t look at him, he wear his clothes and left.

since then, Chu Feng has never seen Rong Yun again. Some people said that Rong Yun had dropped out. some people said that he went abroad… In short, Rong Yun disappeared. Rong Yun was no different to the classmates he bully before. maybe at the beginning he would still think of him, but for a long time, he slowly forgot.

Chu Roung calmed her emotions and sit in the sofa. Then she reluctantly took a four thick notebooks from her bag and placed them neatly on the coffee table. Her nasal sounds were heavy, “This is what Rong Yun left. You are the least qualified to take it, but… You are also the only who can receive it.”

Chu Feng’s numb body gain consciousness and turned to look at the book on the coffee table. The two sides of the books have begun to yellow with a little mark.

“Chu Feng, I will not forgive you, never…” After she finished saying this word, she picked up her bag and left.

He stand still in a daze for a long time and sat down and began to look at the books.

This is a hand-written novel. The person who wrote it is Rong Yun. The protagonist is also Rong Yun and him. Its a very simple love story, not too many twist and turns but the love is real and the delicate writing seems to have endless feelings. in the novel, Rong Yun did not encounter the bullies, according to the original path he grew up and falls in love. In the story, he and Rong Yun began to socialize in high school, go to the university and entered the community. Rong Yun was an author who used a pen-name to make a living and he was not an actor but a simple office worker. The life of two people were simple, but its like a sweet cake, the sweetness were overflowing everywhere.

Although the Chu Feng in the story is completely different to the actual him, he knew that the character in the story was him, regardless of appearance, personality, preferences, habits, etc… Its all him. The him he did not know himself, Rong Yun actually knew so well.

when he finished reading it all, it was already dark.

Through these words, he can clearly feel the feelings of Rong Yun for him. It was very pure, sad, and humbled… Some people say that words can only express one tenth of the emotion because many feelings cannot be written in statement.they can only be hidden in the heart of the author.

At the end of the last book, there was a postscript.

He is the person I shouldn’t love the most in my life, but love cannot always be controlled. When I met him at my best age, I got the saddest result. My depression is not completely because of what he did to me. It was nothing more than a trigger.

I intentionally wrote these things and originally intended to give myself the motivation to live. But the more happy the love in the story is, the more sad it is in reality. So it did not cure me, it just let me stay in a dream.

I promised to Chu Rou, as long as she didn’t mention him to me. I will work hard to live. But this time, I’m afraid I’m going to break that promise. I’m too tired to live. The word ‘negative’ seemed to soak to the dept of my bones. Chu Rou is a good girl, I thank her for visiting me from time to time, but I cannot love her.

Good bye, Chu Feng. I think you will never know that someone you hurt loves you and will never get rid of this feelings.

The tears falls in the eyes of Chu Feng. When he reacted, the tears falls over the book and a dot was drawn.

Chu Rou did not criticize him. He really is a scumbag and he ruined his life. He also understand now why rong Yun was crying so badly. It was one thing to have an unrequited love with someone. But it was another thing if that person you secretly love hurts you. The latter would collapse like everyone else.

Rong Yun’s affection for him moved him but he will never had the opportunity to make up for it.

he hadn’t eaten for a whole day and was a little dizzy but did not have an appetite. He got up and drank a glass of water and sat back at the couch and rub his skin imagining it was Rong Yun’s face. He did not know how long, Chu Feng suddenly fell on the sofa and lost consciousness.

When he opened his eyes, it is clearly not his home. Chu Feng was stunned and suddenly sat up. The distant and familiar environment actually appeared before him – this was his high school dormitory for three years.

Chu Feng was confused for a moment and punch the wall with his fist. The coldness and pain made him realize that he was not dreaming – he was born again and he returned to high school!