Chapter 83: Chapter 83

“So,”

Myohan was currently looking down at his cat. He had always had some suspicions. Sinsul frowned when he smelled the cat. Its eyes sometimes looked like it could look through everything. It resembled Myohan’s cat form so much.

“My lord O Shin,”

That was why he never gave it a name. He couldn’t call him by a different name, not even once.

“Meow—.”

The cat blinked its yellow eyes and gently moved its tail. Shihuang looked at Myohan with shaking hands. He cleared his throat and smiled.

He asked the god who had always been watching him, “Have you waited for this moment?”

Time stopped. Myohan realized it was because Shihuang’s face froze with his mouth open. The cat took a step forward and spoke.

“Well…”

His long, white hair flowed down. Everything had stopped, and only the god and Myohan were moving in the world. O Shin smiled as he caressed Myohan’s soft cheek. It was the smile he had been seeing in his dreams.

“What do you think?”

His hand was so warm that it made him want to cry. The long fingers touched his cheek, then his ear, and the back of his head. Each time his hand gently moved, Myohan’s body felt better and lighter. He looked away.

“I think,”

It was a stupid idea. Of course, he knew. He recalled what Chandeul had said. ‘Maybe some other…’

“You’ve been waiting.”

Gathering all eleven was hard. The god had been watching him close by, and making Shihuang’s plan go wrong couldn’t have been easier for him.

“Really…”

However, the god didn’t do it. Since Myohan was alive, the eleven were with him, and Shihuang had finally finished his quest. The god just smiled and spoke softly,

“I cannot hide anything from you.”

His yellow eyes were full of sorrow. But to Myohan, all of that felt too unrealistic. He had lived 18 years of ordinary life, and what he could remember was all in pieces. He wasn’t even sure he could call them memories.

O Shin stroked his hair for a long time, feeling his small cat, the one he hadn’t been able to touch in ages. He talked again only after Myohan stared at him intently for a long time. His delicate lips curved to a smile.

“You wish to tell me something, don’t you?”

“First,”

The god was saying he couldn’t hide anything from Myohan, but the truth was the opposite. He always knew what Myohan was thinking. He looked away, feeling embarrassed.

“You’re not that different.”

“In what way?”

He had wanted to point that out the whole time he listened to the story. The god was enraged by his subjects’ actions and blamed Shihuang, but paradoxically, he was no different.

“You know, not putting a stop to it is also a form of wrongdoing.”

That was the thing that made Jagyeom feel guilty when Miho was being bullied. Not joining the bullies didn’t make him innocent. Pretending to be ignorant and doing nothing other than just watching was equally wrong. The god smiled.

“So, did you feel betrayed by me?”

“No.”

Myohan smiled. He hadn’t asked for help. Therefore he had no reason to feel betrayed. It meant he hadn’t expected O Shin’s help. The god looked down, but Myohan didn’t care. He just went on talking.

“Giving punishment and forgiving them is what I should have done.”

In a way, O Shin didn’t have any right to punish them and decide whether or not to take Myohan away from Shihuang. They had reached a conclusion without taking Myohan’s own opinion into account, and he was a little irritated about it.

“No one had the right to do that other than me.”

“I gave you a new life.”

“So I took care of the twelve for you.”

His light-brown eyes looked at O Shin. They were as clear as glass beads. It was the only part of him that hadn’t changed after being reborn dozens of times.

“And as a consequence, we are all here.”

Myohan pointed at Shihuang. He was as frozen as a statue and it was almost funny. The god noticed affection in his gaze. He smiled and kissed Myohan’s forehead.

“I have feelings as well.”

He had always been laid-back, but there were moments he became anxious. The moment the gaze that always looked at him turned to someone else, the moment the boy he had thought as his and his only started to leave him.

“Anyone would be enraged when one’s beloved child is taken away.”

‘Taken.’ That word couldn’t be easily defined. Myohan didn’t belong to anyone in the first place, so Shihuang hadn’t exactly ‘taken’ Myohan away. The god understood what he was thinking. He sadly smiled and leaned down.

“I punished them partly because of my selfishness.”

He had been angry as well. He pretended to be kind and generous, but his feeling of betrayal blinded him. Humans were beautiful because they were immature, but he himself couldn’t be like that. What Myohan was saying was all correct. So the god looked into his eyes and smiled.

“Making you live on was my way of atoning.”

His punishment couldn’t affect the twelve during the first ten years of their lives, as they were under Grandmother Samshin’s protection. In return, O Shin helped Myohan get past that age. He protected the little boy, just like he had done in their past.

“But, in the end, it was also selfish of me.”

Memories flooded in. Myohan lost his parents in an accident. The god made him into a cat to save him. He returned him to his human form again on his eleventh birthday. He made sure he had everything he needed for living. He was always near him. And he had still had a lingering attachment to the boy when he looked at him and him only before Shihuang found him.

It was an endless toil. Looking at those clear eyes, the god thought he didn’t want to give him to Shihuang. He hoped and hoped his boy would come back to him after days of loneliness.

“I made you lonely.”

That was why Myohan couldn’t even have a choice between dying little and living a lonely life.

“It was out of my selfishness, all of it.”

O Shin was truly regretting it. He had said to Shihuang he would regret, but then he was regretting what he had done more than anyone. Myohan looked at him.

“Will you forgive me?”

“You’re asking a funny question.”

He recalled the oldest memory he had, the choice he had made on the day he met the god by the lake.

“The answer is obvious.”

He would surely say the same thing if the same situation happened again. He would say he wanted to live and stay with him as a cat. He would refuse the offer of time and let the subjects be mean to him. The consequences would have been the same even if Shihuang had succeeded in warning him.

“My boy…”

The god smiled brightly. He was finally free of his burden. He got up and asked another question.

“Do you like the punishments I’ve given them?”

Myohan thought of Jagyeom first. He became afraid when he was called a rat. His raincoat and umbrella led him to think of Sajun. He wouldn’t even come out of his home when it snowed. Myo Cheong had become a rabbit many times. Jino was just too innocent. When he got to think of Sinsul always asking him to play soccer, he couldn’t help smiling.

“Well…”

He wanted to console Chookjae’s grandmother who had been carrying his burden in his stead for almost a decade. And Miho who couldn’t even cry for himself with his mild eyes. And Yuja who couldn’t even go on a school trip without worrying sick. And Sadeol who drooled as he looked at meat. And Chandeul who had to keep eating candy.

“I think it’s been enough.”

He still could feel the chill he had felt the moment Shin made him fall off the cliff. He must have gotten a bad feeling the moment he saw Seonhan, not because he was like Sajun, but because his unconscious instinct remembered it. Well, it didn’t matter anymore.

“They’re different people, aren’t they?”

The god looked amused.

“Guilt by association has been gone from this country for a long time.”

The boys were not O Shin’s subjects. They didn’t remember tormenting Myohan. They had never been mean to him. And just like they were different people at the moment, Myohan was not the same person anymore.

“It’s kind of embarrassing to say this myself, but I’m quite cool, so…”

“Really…”

His eyes were warm with affection, just like they had been when he looked at Myohan. He raised his head with both hands and placed his forehead on the boy’s. He could closely look into the little world he had given up.

“How am I supposed to not love you?”

The cat was loved by everyone. Myohan had denied it, but then he couldn’t. He smiled and raised his arms. For the first time, he hugged the god first and patted his back slowly.