Chapter 464: 464. Yan Shiba’s Confession

Translator: 549690339

Cheng Yun’s stomach growled, and he felt somewhat embarrassed. Fearing it would delay serious matters, he had rushed back without resting and eating properly on the way.

Weng Ran got up upon hearing the sound and chuckled, “I’ll make you a bowl of vegetarian noodles!”

“No need to go to the trouble…” Cheng Yun wanted to say that he could wait and eat lunch with everyone, but Weng Ran was already at the door.

Yan Shiba’s smile was brilliant, “Little Brother Yun, why are you being so polite? We’re all family here. Have you started eating meat now?”

Cheng Yun frowned and shook his head, “I don’t eat meat.”

Yan Shiba felt that eating only vegetarian food was too miserable. “Since you’ve secularized, you don’t need to be so hard on yourself. Give it a try, you’ll love it.”

Cheng Yun was at a loss for words. Just then, he saw Lao Bai bringing Gu Xiaonuan in, and his eyes lit up. He quickly got up and greeted, “Nuannuan, do you still remember your uncle?”

Gu Xiaonuan tilted her head curiously, looking at Cheng Yun.

Cheng Yun realized, “I’ve changed my appearance, so it’s normal for Nuannuan not to recognize me.”

But Gu Xiaonuan reached out to touch Cheng Yun’s head and giggled, calling out, “Uncle!”

Cheng Yun became happy, “Nuannuan recognized my hair and voice? You’re so smart.”

No sooner had he handed Gu Xiaonuan to Cheng Yun than he almost bumped into Yan Shiba, who had somehow appeared behind him. Cheng Yun quickly stepped back two steps.

“Auntie Yan!” Gu Xiaonuan sweetly waved to Yan Shiba.

Yan Shiba smiled gently, “Such a good baby! Little Brother Yun, let’s take Nuannuan to see what delicious food Little Ranran is making for you!”

“You’ve been sick, you should rest. I’ll take Nuannuan.” Cheng Yun was already at the door as he spoke.

Yan Shiba was pleasantly surprised, “Little Brother Yun, you actually knew I was sick? You care so much about me!”

Cheng Yun: …

In the kitchen, Weng Ran was boiling water to prepare the noodles. The noodles were leftover from breakfast, along with some vegetables. Knowing that Cheng Yun didn’t eat meat, Weng Ran had also taken out a special pot for him.

Seeing Cheng Yun appear at the door, Weng Ran used a fire poker to pull out the last sweet potato from the stove. Since it was big, it took longer to bake, but it was finally done.

“I’ll do it, I’ll do it!” Yan Shiba let Weng Ran make the noodles and put the sweet potato on a plate. She then found a spoon and took Gu Xiaonuan from Cheng Yun, saying, “Little Brother Yun, have some baked sweet potato while it’s hot! It’s delicious! We’ve all had it!”

Gu Xiaonuan reached out with her little hand, wanting to touch the blackened baked sweet potato.

Weng Ran laughed and said, “Cheng Yun, take the sweet potato and go outside to eat with Yan sister and Nuannuan, it’s smoky in here.”

So, Yan Shiba carried Gu Xiaonuan out, walking around the lake to the pavilion, with Cheng Yun following behind with the sweet potato.

As they sat down in the pavilion, Cheng Yun scooped a bit of sweet potato, blew on it to cool it down, and fed it to Gu Xiaonuan.

Gu Xiaonuan took a bite and didn’t want any more. She wasn’t hungry and had already eaten. She just wanted to touch the “black ball”.

As a result, Yan Shiba opened her mouth and made an “ah” sound, indicating Cheng Yun to feed her…

Yan Shiba was actually just joking, knowing that Cheng Yun wouldn’t do such a thing. Still, Cheng Yun was frightened, and he quickly put the spoon down, pushed the plate to Yan Shiba, and strode out of the pavilion, leaping across the lake, leaving only the words, “You enjoy it, I should go help Weng Ran with the fire.”

Yan Shiba looked at Cheng Yun’s retreating figure, sighed, and whispered to Gu Xiaonuan’s face, “Nuannuan, am I that scary? Why does Little Brother Yun look like I’m going to eat him…”

However, thinking that Weng Ran would soon have the noodles ready for Cheng Yun, Yan Shiba unceremoniously ate the sweet potato that was originally for Cheng Yun. She liked this.

Weng Ran was surprised at Cheng Yun’s quick return. Seeing him immediately sit on a small stool, stoking the fire and not saying anything, Weng Ran asked, “What’s wrong? Did you finish the baked sweet potato?”

Cheng Yun shook his head, “Yan sister wanted it, so I gave it to her.”

Weng Ran was surprised by Cheng Yun’s address for Yan Shiba, “I thought you were close with Yan sister.”

Cheng Yun immediately denied, “Not close, just an acquaintance.”

“You… seem to be afraid of her?” Weng Ran asked half-jokingly.

Cheng Yun nodded, “Yes, she’s very… she’s too… she’s a bit…” terrifying… But he felt it was wrong to speak ill of Yan Shiba behind her back, considering that she had been accepted by Su Liang and was not an outsider.

Weng Ran found Cheng Yun’s indescribable expression for Yan Shiba quite amusing, “Since you’ve secularized, I’ll be straightforward. Yan sister likes you a lot, you know? I actually find her quite interesting and very enthusiastic.”

Cheng Yun knew he had prejudices against Yan Shiba, but even ignoring their past, today’s encounter with Yan Shiba still gave him a creeping feeling… Yes, it wasn’t an exaggeration at all. Every time he met Yan Shiba, he felt chilled to the core, and she was truly terrifying. In contrast, getting along with Su Liang had always been warm and relaxing for Cheng Yun, whereas Yan Shiba was the polar opposite – one’s feelings couldn’t simply be changed by willing them to, nor could they be adjusted by reason.

“Please don’t…” Cheng Yun wanted to say not to mention Yan Shiba liking him again, but he felt that saying so would be impolite, so he paused and said, “I’ll clarify things with Yan sister. We’re not suitable.”

Weng Ran shrugged, “Alright, just have a good talk with Yan sister as soon as possible and don’t hurt her feelings. She’s been through a lot getting to where she is now.”

As they spoke, the noodles were ready. Weng Ran served them, asking Cheng Yun where he wanted to eat.

“I’ll eat here.” Cheng Yun took the chopsticks and thanked Wen Ran.

The box containing He Wei’s severed head was tightly sealed, and Gu Ling and Su Liang did not open it. Although it was still winter in the north and had not warmed up, the head had been sent from the south and must have already decayed, making it unrecognizable.

Gu Ling instructed Qi Yan to take it out directly, find a place in the wilderness to bury it, and save people from being frightened.

Zhu Zan went out with Qi Yan, and opened the box to look at the head before burying it. He knew He Wei and despised him, but just a glance made Zhu Zan puke, and he couldn’t eat anything for three days.

Su Liang received the books sent by Mo Yan. After roughly flipping through them, she picked out a few to read first. Among them was a book on ancient poison techniques that recorded some drugs for controlling the human mind. Su Liang hoped to find a breakthrough in improving the truth-telling drug from this book.

As for the box of jade stones and crystals, she handed them directly to Zhengzheng and Ji Xiaoshu, so they could play with them.

Zhengzheng and Ji Xiaoshu found some of them very beautiful and soon decided unanimously to make use of these items and the carving skills Gu Ling had taught them to create a treasure tree for Gu Xiaonuan to play with.

Su Liang knew that Yan Shiba would be excited with Cheng Yun’s return and would do something, but she didn’t interfere. She had important things to do, and they were all adults. Even if Yan Shiba was irrational, Cheng Yun was not helpless, and nothing would happen.

At noon, when the Yuanming Pavilion was serving lunch, Cheng Yun did not come. Wen Ran said he had eaten earlier and went to rest. However, at dinner time, Cheng Yun was still absent. Wen Ran explained that he had woken up in the afternoon and gone to Huguo Temple to visit Master Huiming, and that he would eat there.

Su Liang thought that was normal, but Yan Shiba felt that Cheng Yun must be avoiding her.

So, when Cheng Yun returned from Huguo Temple and walked into Su Mansion, as soon as he entered, Yan Shiba appeared before him, her voice deep, “Are you so afraid of me?”

Cheng Yun sighed, “Miss Yan, let’s talk.”

Yan Shiba turned and walked away, and soon the two sat down in a pavilion by the lake.

It was not early, the children were all in bed and the surroundings were quiet. There were no lights in the pavilion, but the moonlight was good tonight.

Wen Ran brought Yan Shiba the medicine he had prepared and, finding her absent from her room, went to the Yuanming Pavilion to look for her. From afar, he saw her sitting with Cheng Yun in the pavilion, sighed, and then left, but kept the medicine warm on the stove.

The lights were on on the second floor of Yuanming Pavilion; Gu Ling and Su Liang had not gone to bed. Su Liang was reading the books sent by Mo Yan during the day, and Gu Ling was reading another book.

In fact, Gu Ling had seen Yan Shiba and Cheng Yun through the window, but he didn’t care and didn’t mention it to Su Liang, who was engrossed in the book she was reading.

Yan Shiba and Cheng Yun looked at each other for a moment, and Cheng Yun immediately lowered his gaze, “Miss Yan, I…” He had removed his disguise and was not wearing a wig. His face was even more delicate than a few years ago. The former little monk was now a graceful and beautiful young man.

Yan Shiba furrowed her brows, interrupting Cheng Yun, “Don’t speak yet, let me talk first.”

Cheng Yun nodded slightly, “Alright, you go ahead.”

“I really like you,” Yan Shiba cut straight to the chase, “You know this, and the whole family knows it.”

The atmosphere became silent, and Cheng Yun looked at Yan Shiba again, nodding gently, “Yes, I know.”

“Don’t speak!” Yan Shiba shook her head, “Let me finish. I know what kind of person I was before, people called me a witch, scum, villain, and evildoer. If it wasn’t for meeting that brat Su Liang, I would have died long ago, or even if I was alive, it’d be no different from being dead. In fact, being alive and coming back here to see you is like a dream.”

“The first time I met you, I fell off a cliff and thought I was going to die. You suddenly appeared in front of me, your head completely bald, but that face was incredibly beautiful, like an immortal descending from the heavens… You may laugh, but honestly, I never realized one thing: Su Liang always calls Gu Ling ‘Great God’, but in my eyes, you are as beautiful and perfect as Gu Ling is to Su Liang.”

“You may not understand what it’s like to fall in love at first sight, but I do. That’s the feeling you gave me,” Yan Shiba said, “All I showed was teasing you, and I apologize for that. I just didn’t know how to express my feelings for you. You may not believe it, but I didn’t believe it before today either. When I saw you again today, I finally understood it was because I felt deeply inferior. You are like a pure and unblemished snow lotus, and I am just a stone in a gutter.”

Upon seeing Yan Shiba’s self-deprecating grin, Cheng Yun couldn’t help but furrow her brows, but she didn’t speak up.

“When I was locked up in Wolong Snow Mountain, I looked at the snow outside the cave every day, thinking, if I die and don’t drink anxiety relief soup to forget my past life, I must become a person like Su Liang in my next life. That way, I can pursue you without being ashamed of my checkered past, I can pester you and be with you without reprisal.”

Yan Shiba stopped and lowered her eyes.

When Cheng Yun thought she’d finished speaking and was about to open his mouth, Yan Shiba continued, “However, I also know that you don’t like me. This has nothing to do with whether you’re a monk or not. Just like when you were a monk and liked Su Liang, you could be friends with her. Back then you hated me, and it’s the same now. Don’t deny it, you’re human, and it’s normal for you to dislike someone. It’s not a big deal; everyone has someone they dislike.”

Yan Shiba’s tone became quicker, “You saved me and always treated me politely because you’re kind-hearted, but I’m not stupid. That brat Su Liang has already poured cold water on me many times, saying that you will never like me and that we’re not compatible. I know she’s afraid I’m too crazy and would drug you and sleep with you. I admit, I have thought about doing that, more than once.”

Cheng Yun’s brows furrowed even more, but Yan Shiba laughed, “You must be thinking that I’m indeed a scheming temptress, right? You don’t understand romantic relationships, so you might not be able to comprehend the feeling of wanting to be close to someone you love, wanting to hug them, kiss them, and sleep with them… Perhaps one day you will understand, but obviously, it won’t be with me.”

Yan Shiba was clearly smiling, but a crystal-clear tear rolled down her cheek. Cheng Yun was startled, and she seemed surprised as well, touching the tear incredulously before licking her finger, “Salty… I cried? No, I didn’t cry… Why did I shed a tear? Fine… I admit, I’m a little heartbroken, but just a little. After all, I knew the outcome all along—you don’t need to say it. It’s just… maybe it’s a physical reaction, probably a physical reaction. I’ve been thinking about you for too long… It’s fine, it has nothing to do with you…”

Yan Shiba took a deep breath and looked at Cheng Yun again, “Yes, it has nothing to do with you. That’s what I wanted to say. My liking you has nothing to do with you. You don’t have to avoid me, and I won’t harass you anymore. I have important things to do. I want to be a proper person and not lead the children astray. Next, I have to help the brat Su Liang deal with Xingluo Island. After all, I used to be somebody, and I really hate needing Little Ranran to wait on me while lying in bed. I still have to teach Ji Xiaoshu swordsmanship. He adores me, really! Anyway, let’s end it here. The brat Su Liang is right: love isn’t beautiful when it consumes your entire heart. Now my heart has many people in it: Su Liang, Zhengzheng, Xiaoshu, Nuannuan, and Little Ranran. If she were a man, I’d have slept with her already.”

As she spoke, Yan Shiba stood up, “Alright, that’s it. It’s all nonsense. Just forget what you heard and don’t even remember saving me. In any case, I’m not repaying you with my body… Haha! I suddenly remembered that when you returned today, Ji Xiaoshu asked me to guess who was back, and I couldn’t recognize it was you at first. Xiaoshu said I must not truly love you, and I think he’s right. I’m not that heartbroken now, and I even feel like giving you a hard slap… I really am sick. Goodbye.”

Cheng Yun wanted to say something, but Yan Shiba walked out of the pavilion without giving him a chance to speak.

Cheng Yun furrowed his brows again as he sat back down, just as Yan Shiba suddenly came running back, “I forgot one thing; you should really try eating meat, especially the ones cooked by Gu Ling! Also, as a man, if you’re not interested in women, you might as well become a eunuch! Since you’ve left your monastic life, why not be a normal man? Alright, I’m really done this time!”

Cheng Yun still didn’t get a chance to speak. When he looked out, Yan Shiba had already disappeared.