Chapter 4 The Name of those Feelings

Walking down the hallway after leaving the audience room, Syltina heard footsteps behind her. Syltina had an idea who owned those footsteps. She came to a stop and let out a small sigh.

“Syltina-san!”

“……”

The owner of the footsteps noticed Syltina stopped walking and approached even faster.

“Do you need something, Saintess?”

“Rather than ‘Saintess’…Please call me Akari.”

“Such graciousness. Since Saintess is a “saintess” allow me to call you so hereafter.”

Syltina responded with a smile at the owner of the footsteps’…at Akari’s words.

Who would call you by your name?

“Is that so…”

“Leaving that aside, you came running after me because you need something, don’t you?”

“That’s right! I want to express my gratitude to you.”

“Gratitude?”

Akari nodded at the puzzled Syltina and straightened her posture.

“Thank you for receiving the guard request for the purification journey.”

“Oh, about that. Please do not worry about it.”

“That would be impossible! I am truly thankful. Besides, I didn’t expect Syltina-san would really come here…And also, I’m sorry.”

“…Why did you think I will not come?”

The moment Syltina asked, Akari’s pupils glinted. She must have been waiting for Syltina to ask that question. Syltina was aware of it, but she deliberately threw that question.

“Because didn’t Syltina-san got banished from this country two years ago for doing bad things? If it was me, I won’t be able to come back to this country with a calm face even if it was by the King’s orders. That’s why, I thought Syltina-san won’t come either, but you came properly and even took up the guard request…so, thank you very much.”

She lowered her head, but it included neither the slightest bit of sincerity nor thanks.

“If you are showing your gratitude that much, it also makes me very happy, Saintess.”

Syltina reciprocated with a laugh at Akari’s words loaded with sarcasm.

“However, I’m the one who wants to thank you.”

“Huh?”

“Two years ago, you accused me of the crime of harassing you, not to mention I was denounced by people with you and the First Prince at the head, furthermore a crime I have no knowledge of was pinned on me and I was driven out of this country. You allowed that “person who tormented you” to be your guard. If it was me, I would cut down that person the moment they appear before my eyes again. I wish to express my gratitude for your tolerant and kind heart.”

“Oh, uh, no, that is…”

The sound of Akari’s bewildered voice carried to Syltina who was bowing her head very deeply. Serves you right, Syltina sneered under her lowered head. Just like that, Syltina bid her goodbye and turned on her heels.

Syltina does not intend to be defeated even in words by a woman who only knows how to be protected comfortably. It would be better for Akari to realize and lament that she placed herself under the custody of the person she scorned herself.

Al said he accepted because it was a “commission”. Syltina did, too. Akari must not forget that.

She must not forget that she is being protected by a “commission”.

“Elder Sister Syl!!”

A voice called out to Syltina once more just as she was close to exiting the palace gates. She stopped walking and sighed, unclear how many times she already did that. When she looked back, Tedla Balratona, her little brother until two years ago, was there.

“Sir Tedla Balratona, did you need something?”

“I will accompany you to the house.”

“I am thankful for the offer but it is not necessary. I remember the location of Duke Balratona’s house, besides I have to stop by somewhere.”

“Is it that man’s place?”

“It is none of your concern. Let’s meet again later in Duke Balratona’s house.”

After bowing, Syltina passed under the palace gates. Tedla lined up next to her.

“…Excuse me?”

“I will also go.”

Syltina her eyebrows, unable to understand his intentions. His grew taller and his features matured a little compared to two years ago. His muscled body showed his dedication to become a Knight. Syltina observed Tedla for some time, then started to walk without saying anything.

He was her family. It does not mean she had no feelings of affection. He was someone she brought up for 16 years with profound love. “He might save me,” she harbored that hope towards him until the very end. However, both her love and hope, he…they easily betrayed her intentions as well.

Isn’t it normal to feel like this? That being the case, isn’t it inevitable to consider she has no need of those people? She trusted them so much because she loved them, and the despair and disappointment were unfathomable the moment they betrayed her. So never again would she love and believe the people in this country.

“…”

“Uhm, elder sister Syl…”

After walking in silence for a while, Tedla abruptly began a conversation.

“Two years ago, that is…”

“I am—–”

Syltina opened her mouth to reply to Tedla, who looked as if he was clogged up with words that are hard to say.

“I am not your elder sister. Please call me Syltina.”

Syltina herself thought it was an awfully cold voice. Tedla held his breath and stopped walking. Syltina looked at his face warped with sorrow, completely mystified from the bottom of her heart.

What was he grieving for so much? He himself said it was a matter of course, that it was a fact.

After all, he was the one who abandoned his “older sister”. He should be aware Syltina had busily moved about even after returning from school. Nevertheless, two years ago, he assisted and stood beside Akari. At that time, in that moment, he stopped being her “little brother” and she also stopped being his “older sister”. Even if she was not deprived of her family name, Syltina thought she can never think of him as her “little brother” again.

Therefore, she cannot comprehend the meaning of his current expression.

“Sir Tedla, is something wrong?”

“You are mad, after all.”

“What?”

“You are mad that I did not side with you two years ago… that we did not believe in you.”

“……”

What…did he say? Something like “being mad”… As if it’s that simple. It is…

“It’s not such a simple emotion.”

That’s right. The emotion nesting in her chest since two years ago is not “being mad”. It’s not that sort of adorable thing.

This is…

“I…abhor all of you and this country to the extent that I wish you would just get ruined.”

She liked them. She wanted to protect them. She loved them. She cherished them.

But for those same reasons, being deprived of everything by those very people, the emotions changed into strong, potent abhorrence.

They do not understand that.

Syltina fixed nothing but an emotionless gaze towards Tedla Balratona, the person who was supposed to be her little brother, as he stared at her with a pallid expression.